What if nothing is wrong ? This sticks with me. Resonates within me often when I meditate. What if nothing really is wrong? What if it just is? That is in fact the truth nothing is wrong until I judge it. Until I label it as such. Inherently things are not wrong or right they just are. It is not until my mind comes in and starts throwing labels and judgments around on everything it comes in contact with does it become anything other then what it is in that moment.
Through my attachment and aversion to what is happening in the moment I let the moment slip away. I judge as wrong or right or pleasant and unpleasant. In that one label my mind goes into a whole pattern of reactions to the label I have just put on the situation. A pattern worn deep into the groves of my mind by constant habitual reactions. If it is unpleasant aversion kicks in I want it away, I want to pretend it is not there or not happening. If it is pleasant I want more and more and more till either it makes me sick, hurts me, I hurt it, or I finally get bored with it and move on to the next pleasant addiction.
the Constant habitual cycles of my mind are what my meditation helps me with. The more I further my practice the more room I get between thought and reaction. It is in that moment if am lucky enough, I get to respond in a skillful mindful way.
Vinny Ferraro has a mantra I learned early on in meditation. It is “nothing to do , nowhere to go, no one to be, Nothing is wrong . ” This mantra to me sums up everything I need to here in relation to my constant Attachment and aversion.
Nothing to do. In this moment I have nothing else to do but what I am doing in this moment. If I am mindful in this moment and not worried about what I am going to do next I can devote my full attention to experiencing whatever there is to experience in that one moment. I will not be a sleep I will be Awake and present for whatever comes my way.
Nowhere to go. I am constantly in a rush and for no reason most of the time I really have nowhere to go to but I want to rush off to there any way. By doing this I never allow time to settle into the moment to just be with whatever is. My mind by keeping me constantly rushing around has effectively distracted me from the moment at hand. I can no longer interact effectively or respond loving and compassionately if I am not present in the moment . If I am constantly worried and fixated about getting somewhere in time. This expectation or attachment to being in a certain place at a certain time can and often does distract me from the moment I am in and once again I am asleep not fully present.
No one to be. For years I did not love myself enough to be ok with who I am. I always strove to be different then what I was. Whether doing it to vie for the attentions of one person or another or to try and get the cool kids to be my friend. I was constantly hiding and denying who I really was deep down. Then when this self would pop up I would go through a range of emotion from hate to intense anger for being me. Not a lot of love or compassion for me, For who I was in this moment. The further I come in my practice the more I come to appreciate who I am in this moment. I have forgiven myself of past digressions and truly come to love who I am from moment to moment. The only way I was able to do this was to realize there is no one to be. I am who I am in this moment and this moment only.
Nothing is wrong. In this moment nothing is wrong nothing can be. Wrong right pleasant unpleasant are all tricks of the judging mind. The moment is what it is and cannot be changed. It is my task to try and let go of my attachments and aversions so I can just be. In this moment it is like this. When I can reach this level of non attachment . Nothing truly is wrong. It is what it is and it is only my reactions to this that can change it in my mind. I have realized I have very little if any control over what goes on around me. What I do have is control over my reactions to it. I can take a situation that in light of all things is indeed very heavy with suffering and through my reactions to this suffering I can choose to stack on even more suffering on top of what is already there. It is my attachment to keeping something I have and my aversion to not getting something I want that can take a painful situation and stack suffering on top of it. Then I get the joys of suffering double.
Pain is unavoidable suffering is not.. In this lifetime we can be free from suffering if we choose to be in this very lifetime in this very moment we can rid ourselves from suffering if only we realize that this is how it is.